Home Is Whenever I'm With You
by Jordanpie
Summary: AU, Keffy. My first fanfiction ever. Focuses mainly on Effy's struggle with Psychosis and the bond that grows between her and Katie. Who knows where it will lead...
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone, I'm new to the site as far as writing FanFic goes, but I have been reading Skins fanfic for a while and it has inspired me to write this story. This chapter is extremely short I know, but It was a good cut-off point and I wanted to see what you guys think before I continue with it. I don't know if it's any good or not...**

**BIG shoutout to HyperFitched aka Hypes for being my inspiration in writing this. I was never a big fan of Keffy until I read I Hold A Force I Can't Contain and the 99 Problems. Also, I Hope you don't mind my using your 'Fabulous Fucking Fitch Twins' xx Jordanpie**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Skins! I just love the characters too much to let their stories end.**

Home Is Whenever I'm With You

Chapter 1: Tornado Of Lust

Effy

"I'm home. Effy are you here?"

I heard the door swing shut and the sweet sound of heels as they clacked against the wooden floor. "In here." I said. The sound barely rose above a whisper. It had been the first thing I'd said all day, though by then it had to have been almost 3 in the afternoon. I cleared my throat softly and went at it again, "In here."

She stalked into the room, bundled in a stylish fake fur coat and tight black pants that curved in all the right places. "It's fucking freezing out there." She quickly stripped off the coat and turned, walking over to the coat rack at the back of the large, open living area. My eyes followed her as she strutted away from me. I couldn't stop myself from letting my eyes travel up and down her body, taking in every curve, every last perfect imperfection, every... No, I shook my head. Stop perving Effy. She took your fucked up nutcase self in. Don't go there, you can't fuck this up.

I had met Katie in a club just a month before. She was there with her sister Emily. The Fabulous Fucking Fitch Twins as they are known. There's Emily, the gorgeous redhead whose strong willed confidence and lesbian charm have loads of fit girls lining up to drop their knickers. Then there's Katie, whose stunning beauty is matched only by her fiery personality. To the world she seemed like the girl with all the confidence in the world, the girl you wouldn't dare cross, the prime example of a person whose bite is definitely worse than her bark. I saw through the facade. One look at her and I could see, all the glitz and glamour was a front. Behind that seductive fire was someone who always had to be in control, so that no one would see the scared little girl hiding beneath the surface.

I had come to this club for the same reason, to feel the power, to be in control. As I'd done countless amounts of clubs before, I'd dance around completely munted, luring them into my twisted little game. Half the time I wouldn't even remember my lovers names, or faces. Just the vague memory of shagging along with the familiar feelings of a come down and the itch for more drugs to numb myself with.

That night had started like all the others. I showed up at the club having already downed half a bottle of vodka and smoked a spliff. I imeddiately made my way over to the bar and sat down, calling the bartender over. I was about to order myself a drink when something caught my eye, the sight of two well fit, petite girls dancing around eachother in a seductive game of cat and mouse. Twin cats with the drunken masses at their feet. For the first time I found myself drawn in, wanting to be a part of someone elses game. I slinked over and started to maneuver my way around the crowd, watching as a few people would dance around the twins, one of them eventually working up the courage to move in closer. Before long the people could tell they weren't getting anywhere and would shrink back into the crowd, or the twins would dance around eachother, like a tornado of lust. I worked my way in, dancing stratigically around the mass of hopeless souls all hoping to get their 15 minutes of fame with the Fabulous Fitches.

Eventually I found myself just a foor away from the beautiful tornado and wanted to get sucked in. I took a deep breath and plunged into it. I could feel my senses heighten as I fed on their seduction and the longing of the people dancing around me, all wanting to be me right now. I got lost in a high like no other, not one of artificial stimulants, but one that came from just being close to these two god-like creatures. It was a powerful drug and I wanted more. I slid in closer to the nearest twin and put my hands on her hips. She went with it, moving in closer and dancing along with me. What I did next... Blame it on the drugs or booze, the fabulous Fitch seduction, or the fact that this girl was breath-takingly beautiful and I couldn't help myself. She turned around, my hands still on her hips, and continued dancing, our bodies almost completely pressed against eachother. I looked around to find masses of fit guys, and girls, jaws drop as they moved a couple steps closer, hoping to get a chance next. I smirked, took one hand off of her hip and brought it down on her leg, sliding it upward until it was perfectly centered on her ass.

Wrong move Eff.

Next thing I knew I was on the floor of the club, curled up in a ball, my hand lightly touching the spot where the twin had smacked me, and well fucking hard too.I wanted to say something, to defend myself, but all I could do was watch as the helpless little girl I had seen before disappeared and was replaced by a brilliant, white hot fire that grew with every venom-filled word she spat at me.

"Are you fucking crazy? Just because I was dancing with you it doesn't give you the right to feel me up! Jesus Fucking Christ I'm not like the fucking Lezinator over here." she shouted, pointing at her sister. "I'm Katie Fucking Fitch! Who the fuck are you?"

I just stared in wonder at the marvelous sight before me. This girl burned with an intensity unlike any I had seen before. It washed over me, mesmerizing me and drawing me in. Then suddenly everything changed. Everything when black and I watched in horror as the brilliant light that was Katie Fitch shifted into a void of darkness that threatened to suck me in. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream. All I could do was stay there, trapped in my delusion, suffocated in my fear. Just when I thought I was going to lose touch, I hear a voice in my ear. "Whoa I... I didn't mean to... Are... Are you okay?"

A light broke through the darkness, slowly becoming stronger and brighter. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was the sweet, concerned face of a purple haired goddess, bathed in a light so bright I thought I would burn in it, Katie Fucking Fitch, my goddess.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for such a long wait guys. I planned to make this chapter a lot longer but life got kind of crazy so here it is. Hopefully after the next week or so I'll be able to start writing this again****. I planned to switch off 1 chapter following Effy and the next following Katie, but I felt it would be better if I told the first part of this chapter from Effy's POV, so it's going to switch from Effy to Katie somewhere along the way. I don't plan on doing that often though. Anyway, enjoy!**

**Oh and thank you to Hypes for reading first chapter, both drunk and sober ;) I appreciate it so much. I hope you keep reading and like what you read :)**

**DISCLAIMER: Still own nothing. If I did Skins would be all Fitch twin lesbian shenanigans... one can only dream XD**

Home Is Whenever I'm With You

Chapter 2 - Aftermath

Effy

I woke up to a ton of disappointment and guilt being pushed onto me. I felt a familiar cold around me and the feeling of a gown against my skin. A hospital gown, I was in a hospital again. I clenched my fists beneath the sheets. Another fucking hospital. I opened my eyes to the blindingly bright lights and had to blink several times before my brain could process the information my eyes were sending it. The information seemed wrong though. The eyes I had seen seemingly moments before were not the eyes I was staring into now. The sweet, concerned eyes of Katie Fitch had morphed into the well-worn, disappointed yet relieved eyes of my mother. When she saw that I had become conscious again, her expression immediately changed into something softer, more loving.

"Effy." she whipsered, "Thank god. I thought I'd fucking lost you."

The words hit me like knives through my heart. I'd been in this position three times before, two of which were times I had attempted suicide. Each time I had regained consciousness in a familiar hospital setting, to the same heartbreaking expression from my mum. I stared at her helplessly, not knowing what to say. I thought about everything I'd put her through since I'd been diagnosed with psychosis. All the heartache, every time I'd slipped and nearly fallen off the edge and she didn't know whether I'd come back. I'd wanted out, I'd given in to my delusions, and nearly let them take me every time. Somehow I always came back. Somehow she never fell apart. Somehow...

I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of a familiar voice. The voice of my savoir, Katie Fitch. "Is she awake?"

"Yeah she just woke up." My mum replied.

She walked over and looked down at me, relief quickly turning into sorrow and regret. "I'm so fucking sorry. I can't believe I did this to you. I didn't know you were... I... I didn't know." She put her head in her hands.

"You... You saved me." I stuttered. "I'd given in, I was being taken by the darkness. Your light broke through it. You were shining so bright I was nearly blinded. You're a goddess Katie Fucking Fitch."

When she looked back up I could physically see her exhaustion. It looked as though she hadn't slept in days. She was wearing much less flashy clothes than in the club, but she looked just as fit. Though her hair was in a loose bun and it looked as if she had been crying she was still fucking beautiful. I shook my head when I realized my eyes were scanning her body a little too obviously. I don't know how she didn't see it, or if she had but chose to ignore it. She shook her head.

"I'm still the one that caused you to go to that place. I... I can't even imagine. I promise you I will never let it happen again. Anthea told me a bit about your, um, illness. What the hell were you thinking Effy? You were obviously high. Why the fuck would you risk that?"

I thought about it for a minute. I knew what the drugs could do. They were like a double-edged sword. They provided an escape, to a world where I could leave the burden of my reality behind, but they also brought out the worst of my illness, opened up the door for my demons to move closer to the surface. I needed the escape, but if the demons broke through the fallout was ten times worse. Still I took the drugs, I couldn't stop. I craved them, needed them. So I took the risk, and paid the price.

"I know I shouldn't have. It was stupid and I set myself for this, but I needed to be free. Free from this." I said poking myself in the forehead several times. "The drugs take it all away. Everything becomes so simple. I guess... I thought it was worth it." I reasoned and looked down at my hands.

"No more Effy. It's not fucking worth it. Never again. If I have to follow you around to make sure you don't take anything I will."

Anthea just sat there in silence, listening, and looking back and forth as we talked. Though at one point I could have sworn I saw the slightest hint of a smile cross her lips.

"Okay." I said.

"Promise?" Katie asked.

I sighed. "I promise." I said, for the first time actually meaning what I said. I knew I wouldn't do drugs ever again. For some reason I didn't understand I couldn't stand the thought of doing anything to disappoint her. Katie Fucking Fitch. This girl completely threw me off. Although I was a total fucking nutcase, I've always been able to see things clearly, to read people easily, and understand almost everything. This girl took all of that from me. For once I didn't understand what was going on. I was willing to do almost anything for a girl who had nearly thrown me off the edge of the cliff to be swallowed by my illness. She'd brought me back though. She was strong enough to fight off the demons. I needed that, I needed her. I knew I couldn't let her go.

"Thank you." I said.

Katie shrugged. "Just don't fucking do it again Stonem." She said and winked at me.

I couldn't stop the smirk that broke across my face. This girl was good.

Katie

My heart stopped when she fell to the ground. I mean damn, I slapped her well hard but not THAT fucking hard. The bitch fucking palmed my ass. What else was I supposed to do? At first she just stared at me with the expression of a kid who just discovered the circus. It made me even angrier and louder. I shot every nasty insult I could think of at her. Then something happened. Her expression morphed into one of fear. I'd never seen anyone so scared in my life. Shock ran through me. Had I done that to her?

I was Katie Fucking Fitch. Big ego, bigger mouth, and I never regretted anything I said... until that night. I turned to my sister and mouthed the words 'What the fuck?' She looked just as confused as I felt. I walked up to her and bent down to her level. It looked as if she was staring right at me but I could tell that she wasn't actually seeing me.

"I...I didn't mean to... Are... Are you okay?"

Slowly she began to focus and her expression changed yet again, from one of pure terror to something softer, peaceful. I didn't understand it at all, but before I could ask her what had happened she passed out. I scooped her up. Though she was a bit taller than me she was really light. I silently thanked my dad for all those pull ups on the naughty bar.I walked over to Emily and our twin telepathy kicked in. She nodded and we made our way out of the club. We took her to the closest hospital. I found out her name was Elizabeth Stonem, 22, same age as Emily and I, and had the hospital contact her mother. It was all so surreal. I met her mother Anthea Stonem. I could tell this was not the first time her daughter had ended up in the hospital. She explained the girl's illness and that the drugs she had taken had caused the hallucinations and delusional behavior. She didn't blame me at all for what had happened to 'Effy', as Anthea called her. She blamed herself for not watching out for her daughter more.

"If I hadn't gotten so caught up in my own stupid life." she murmured. "If I'd paid more attention."

"No Anthea. It isn't your fault. Effy is old enough to make her own decisions and she suffered the consequences. You didn't give her the drugs and you didn't force her to take them. Plus, I'm the one who caused... This."

I quickly told her I needed to go home to change and grab a few things but I'd be back in a bit and left her with her unconscious daughter. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I broke down as soon as I got home. I couldn't hold it in anymore. What if Effy didn't make it. I'd put her in a fucking coma. She had to be okay. I needed her to be okay.

When I got back to the hospital she had just woken up. I was so relieved, but immediately felt more guilty than ever. She quickly made me forget all of that though as we talked. After I made her promise not to do drugs anymore, we sat in the room in silence while Anthea got the doctor. I sat next the the bed, in a chair facing the door, with one arm propped up on the bed. Effy reached over and took my hand in hers. It caught me off guard a little so I looked over at her. I could see in her eyes that she needed the comfort, so I laced our fingers together and squeezed her hand gently. True was, I needed the comfort too.

We stayed like that, in total silence apart from the television program on in the background that Anthea had been watching, until Anthea came back with the doctor. A woman, tall and blonde with piercing blue eyes.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Campbell. I'm going to be your new doctor Effy." she said.

She talked to Effy about the danger she had put herself in. She explained a bit more about her illness to me. I tensed up when I heard about all the awful things people with Psychosis go through. What Effy has gone through. All I saw that night was a crowd of people and a girl who was scared shitless. Effy was seeing a whole other world of her mind's creation. One filled with red eyed demons and darkness with nowhere to run.

This time Effy squeezed my hand. I was nice to know she was there for me when she was the one who had to deal with the things I was hearing. Then Dr. Campbell addressed all three of us. She said that I would be a big part in Effy's recovery from the incident, if I was willing. I immediately said yes. If Effy needed me, I would be there. After all, I was the one who did this to her in the first place. I owed her one. She told Effy that she needed to start taking her medicine again and the over-stimulation needed to stop for a while.

"That means no drinking, no clubbing. Give yourself some time to readjust. You can go a while without it. Most importantly, no drugs, ever. It's not worth the-"

"I know." Effy said. "No more drugs." She looked deep into my eyes, "I promise."

Dr. Campbell nodded and told us Effy had to stay the night to be monitored. She told me I could go home and get some rest, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep unless I knew for sure she was okay. I don't know why, but I felt drawn to her. I thought it was because I felt guilty, but it was more than that. I decided not to dwell on it too much. I was too fucking tired to think anyway. I ended up falling asleep in that chair, still clinging to Effy's hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**So I apologize for the lateness and confusion last chapter and I'm sorry it has taken so long or me to get back to writing and update.**

**One thing I'd like to clear up. Dr. Campbell is Naomi's mom not Naomi herself. A full fledged doctor at 22? Not likely haha. It was meant to be elaborated on last chapter but as I said life got crazy and I didn't get to finish working on it like I'd hoped and I wanted to give you guys something so... I apologize for the shitty job I did. Hopefully this chapter will clear some things up.**

**Anyway enough excuses and rambling, on to the good stuff **

**xx Jordanpie**

**DISCLAIMER: Still own nothing. As much as I wish I did hehe :)**

Chapter 3- New Beginnings

Katie

I woke up to the annoying buzz of my phone vibrating in my bag in the corner of the room. I grumbled and cursed under my breath. It wasn't until I opened my eyes that I remembered where I was. This cold, depressingly bland place. Effy had shifted sometime during the night, turning her body toward my hand she still had a loose hold on. I slowly slid my hand away from her's, careful not to move her too much, and walked to my phone. The screen lit up, revealing that I had 4 missed calls and a couple text messages. Before I could open all the messages and see who had called, I heard Effy stirring. I silently debated whether I should stay until she woke up or leave the room while I tried to figure it out.

After a few minutes, Effy hadn't moved anymore or shown any signs of waking any time soon so I slipped out of the room. I needed a smoke anyway. So I walked out of the building and parked myself at a bench, pulled out a fag, and lit it up, breathing in deeply and letting the smoke sooth my constant worry. I pulled out my phone and found that I had a few missed calls from Emily. As well as one from my parents. I decided to handle Emily first and I would call my parents back later, they weren't a priority at the moment.

I checked the texts first. They were both from Emily, saying she would come to the hospital today before Effy was to be discharged and asking if I needed anything and telling me to pick up my phone. Before I could get the chance to call her back I saw her walking up to the building. She wasn't alone however, I quickly recognized the figures as Cook, Freddie, and JJ. I instantly became annoyed, I mean I love the guys, but why would Emily bring them here?

"Hey Katiekins!" Cook roared and enveloped me in a hug. "Heard you had a nasty scrap with some crazy chick."

I pushed him away. "She's not some crazy chick you wanker, and she has a name. It's Effy."

"Whoa whoa sorry Katiekins." he paused. "So is she fit?"

To which Emily replied "Pretty fucking fit yeah."

He burst into his signature Cook roar of a laugh and stated, "Nice one." the guys and Emily laughed along with him.

I just stood there for a minute glaring at them before I realized I didn't have time for this, Effy could wake up any minute and I didn't want her to be alone when she did. So I turned and stormed off very dramatically, quieting and quickening my steps once I passed through the door into the hospital.

When I got back to the room Effy was awake and staring at the television. She looked like she was miles away though. My heart dropped, I didn't want her to wake up alone. I decided there was no use dwelling on it and perked up when she heard me walk in and turned her head, the corners of her mouth lifting ever so slightly when she saw me.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I've got the headache from fucking hell and I'm a little sore from being smacked by this short girl I groped last night but other than that I'm fucking peachy." I smirked, I liked Effy. She was pretty fucking mysterious and didn't say much, but when she did, it had a purpose, it had meaning, I liked that.

"Well you had it coming, you shouldn't be groping straight girls in clubs." I winked at her. "I'll go find Dr. Campbell, you should be able to leave here soon. I think her and your mum went to get coffees and talk about new medication for you?" She nodded and I could see something was on her mind but I couldn't tell what it was. I decided to ask her about it later but walked over and have her a hand a squeeze before leaving the room.

Dr. Campbell seemed pretty nice. We got to talking when I found her and Anthea. I found out that she has a daughter that is mine and Emily's age, her name is Naomi. How ironic, Naomi Campbell. A million jokes I'm sure she's probably heard at least a hundred times each popped into my head and I giggled a little. That is until I saw Emily and the boys walking up to me. She looked pissed.

"Jesus fucking Christ Katie why would you just storm off like that? I couldn't remember what room Effy was in and then they wouldn't let us all go to the room. Lucky you were In here or we never would have found you."

"You guys were being complete assholes and I... I had to check on Effy." I stated coldly.

Emily walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry. I was just joking. But I know you're on edge right now so I apologize."

"It's alright I guess." I said, not really meaning the words. I didn't know why it bothered me so much but I couldn't shake my anger at the way they were talking about her.

JJ, Cook, and Freddie stood a few steps away awkwardly, not knowing what to do. I walked over to them and told them to come sit down with me. I explained the events at the club the previous night and how Effy needed me, pushing back the thought that arose in my mind telling me that I needed her just as much if not more. I had no idea where the thought came from at the time. The only person I'd ever admitted to needing was Emily. Admitted to myself that is. She's just always been there for me and I don't know what I'd do without her. She's my twin.

When I finished telling the boys the story and answered all their questions they decided to leave, Cook said he'd call later to check on me.

When they'd left, I looked over to find Emily talking to Anthea and Dr. Campbell, and another person I didn't recognize. She had shortish blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Then it hit me, the resemblance could smack you right in the face, she was Dr. Campbell's daughter, Naomi.

The look on Emily's face way priceless. She was crushing and it showed. Maybe not to everyone in the room or even the object of her perving, but it was painfully obvious to me. God Emily is gay as a fucking window, I thought.

I walked over to her and whispered "take a picture, it'll last longer." she straightened up and decided to focus on the conversation between Anthea and Dr. Campbell , before realizing she couldn't understand half of the terms they were using and turned to find me introducing myself to her little crush.

"Hey I'm Katie. You must be Naomi. Great name by the way." I chuckled, couldn't help myself, it was to fucking good to pass up. I saw Emily glaring at me out of the corner of my eye and it made me laugh a little harder.

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah laugh it up. I see who the nice twin is." she said, turning to Emily who smiled so wide I thought her face would spilt in half.

"She makes it so easy." Emily said. "and thank you." she smiled again. I rolled my eyes and smirked. Emily was completely smitten. I could see it all over her face. Considering her amazing ability to make even the straightest of girls fall for her charm I wouldn't have been surprised if they'd fucked by the end of the week. I shook my head a few times, those were mental images I did NOT want to picture.

I turned my attention to Dr. Campbell. "So Effy can leave today right?"

It was Anthea who answered me. "Yes, I'll be taking her home. She'd being put on new medication so it's going to be rough for a few days. Your welcome to stop by whenever you want though Katie."

I nodded and we headed back up to the room. I said goodbye to Effy and told her I'd call with the number Anthea gave me to make sure everything was alright and I'd see her soon. For some reason it almost hurt to leave. I gave her hand a squeeze and walked out to find Emily and Naomi exchanging numbers. I smirked, then suddenly realizing just how tired I was and that I could practically feel a layer of filth coating my body, I grabbed Emily and we left. She was smiling like an idiot when we got in the car, I figure she probably stayed that way the whole way back to our place but I couldn't say for sure. I fell asleep almost as soon as I heard the car start and we began to drive away. My last thoughts were of those blue eyes that had haunted me since I'd seen them, the other night. Effy Stonem. That girl was going to be the death of me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Nothing like waking up to a wonderful review from one of your favorite writers to inspire you to write. So these updates are going to be pretty close together. Yay! Enjoy.**

**xx Jordanpie**

**DISCLAIMER: Nope.**

Chapter 4 -

Effy

**I don't fucking care what your mum says! its been 4 days and your perfectly fine. I'm coming over. xx K**

I smiled. I was never one to text much but Katie and I had been sending messages back and forth since the day after I came home from the hospital.

I had no arguments. My mum was being a bitch about it. I knew she was just trying to protect me, I'd only been on the new medication for a few days and none of us knew how I was going to react to it. It was Katie though, I knew that with her around nothing would happen. I quickly typed out a reply.

**No arguments here. I'll see you in a bit. xx E**

30 minutes later there was a knock on the door. As soon as I opened it Katie ran in and hugged me.

"How are you babes?" she asked in a rather bubbly voice. It was a side of her I hadn't seen before. I saw the caring, emotional side of Katie. This was definitely a change, but not necessarily a bad one. It was nice to see her so happy.

"I'm fine." I said and shrugged. "You seem pretty happy though. That's a change." I smirked.

"Well it's been four days. It's good to finally get to see you. I was.. Worried about you I guess." she said quickly and quietly, her smile fading a bit before it picked back up and she shot out, "Your mum was being a right b- Anthea! Great to see you again."

I stifled a laugh and turned as she walked up. "Nice to see you too Katie." she gave me a smile and walked away. I could tell she wasn't happy that Katie was there, she didn't think it was a good idea this soon, but I wasn't given much of a choice. I'd learned in the short amount of time I'd known her that when Katie Fitch wants something, she gets it, no matter what anyone says or thinks. Truthfully being stuck in this house with only my over-bearing mother to keep me company was driving me crazy, well crazier, so I had no complaints.

"Can we get out of here?" I asked.

"Sure babes, I've got the perfect place."

She wouldn't tell me where we were going. I was completely in the dark and along for the ride until we got to the docks. It was surprisingly warm for November. The sun glistened off the water, not a cloud in the sky. It was beautiful, and after the couple days in the hospital and not having left the house since, it was needed.

Katie got out of the car and walked down by the water, sitting down on the edge of the pavement and pulling out a fag. I walked over and sat next to her, fighting the urge to ask for one too. She must have seen me getting uncomfortable and flicked the cigarette away like it was burning her hand. She brought the same hand up to her forehead. "Christ Eff I'm sorry. I completely forgot." she said. I could hear how upset she was with herself.

I grabbed her hand and pulled it away from her face. "It's alright. Calm down. Just because I can't have anything doesn't mean you have to do the same. I'll deal." I said giving her a smile.

We sat in silence for a while. Breathing in the cool air and enjoying each other's company. I was surprised Katie could stand it. She seemed like the girl who always had something to say. Looking at her though, it seemed like her mind was far away. Once again my ability to read people was failing me.

"What are you thinking about." I blurted out.

She jumped a little at the sudden outburst. I giggled a little and she turned to me, looking extremely annoyed. Then, remembering the question I had asked she turned away.

"N... Nothing." she murmured.

I wasn't going to leave it at that though. "Come on Katie. We both know that's not true, you usually always have something to say, but you've been sitting there staring off in the distance for almost an hour."

"I just have a lot on my mind, but it doesn't concern you. Just drop it for fucks sake."

The way she said it made me think it did have something to do with me, but I wasn't going to push any harder and risk making her angry. Angry Katie was something I never wanted to experience again, so I let it go. I just stared at her after she said it, watching as her expression shifted from annoyed to sad and she looked away again.

"I have my one week follow-up with Dr. Campbell in a couple days, would you want to come with me?" I asked, trying to cheer her up a bit. It seemed work. I watched her expression change yet again.

"I'd love to." she said cheerfully and stood up, pulling me up with her and into a hug. I wasn't much of a hugger, but I could've stayed there all day in her arms. It was as if she poured everything she'd been thinking about and feeling into the hug and let it all go, I felt everything become less tense, it was comforting to both of us.

"Come on babes, we should get you home before your mum has a heart attack."

Two days later I was back in the hospital for my follow up. My mum insisted on coming and was still a bit annoyed with Katie for taking me out of the house two days before. Needless to say there was quite a bit of bickering between the two. I was a bit annoyed with Anthea though. I understood that she just wanted to protect me, but she was treating me like a child when I was 22 for fucks sake. I didn't need fucking permission to leave the house.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the voice of Dr. Campbell. "So Anthea tells me you've been having pretty bad nightmares and you aren't getting much sleep lately."

I just nodded my head.

"Well that appears to be the only side effect which is good. I'd like to keep you on this medication if you don't mind taking the sleeping pills to help you at night."

"I don't mind. That's fine with me." I said.

"Good." Dr. Campbell said and began writing the prescription out, "Take one every night and you'll be asleep within 30 minutes. You should be able to sleep through the night. Other than that I'll see you in a few weeks. If you have any problems before then don't hesitate to call."

I said thank you and Dr. Campbell left the room. Katie and I left to meet up with Emily and some of their friends, and my mum went home, but not before telling me not to stay out too late and shooting Katie a slightly threatening look.

We met up at some bar they always went to.

"Will you be alright in there babes? If not we don't have to stay, we can g-"

"It's fine Katie. Come on." I said, pulling her into the bar and scanning the room until I spotted her twin sitting with three guys, and a blonde girl who must have been Dr. Campbell's daughter Katie had been telling me about, Naomi. I smirked, remembering that Katie had mentioned how Emily was apparently crushing on her pretty hard.

I walked us over and let Katie introduce me to everyone. I learned the three boys were Cook, loud and extremely sexual, Freddie, quiet, beautiful stoner, and JJ socially awkward yet incredibly sweet and smart.

I watched them all interact. They seemed so close, except for Naomi who I'd catch staring at Emily when she thought no one was looking. I smiled lightly. _Looks like it goes both ways, _I thought.

Naomi caught my eye and I winked at her. She blushed and tried to hide her face. I had to stifle my laughter, silently promising myself I would not interfere, they would figure it out in their own time, and the result would be something wonderful.

Every once in a while Katie would reach over and give my hand a squeeze and smile at me to make sure I was okay and I would nod. The alcohol was tempting, but the thought of disappointing her was enough to keep me away.

When we finally all said our goodbyes and left it was almost midnight. So much for not coming back too late. I silently laughed, my mum would get over it, she couldn't control me.

Katie drove me back but refused to go inside, she didn't want to face Anthea and I didn't blame her. I said goodbye to her and slipped inside, not wanting to face my mum either. To my dismay she was sitting there waiting up for me.

"Elizabeth Stonem you where the fuck have you been? I was worried sick."

Anger was starting to build within me. I hated this, she was treating me like a disobedient teenager.

"I was out Anthea. With Katie. Calm the fuck down. I wasn't out partying and drinking and doing drugs. Even if I was it's none of your fucking business. Stop treating me like I'm meant to be in a bubble. I'm 22 for christ's sake. I think I can make my own god damn decisions."

She just looked at me with this heart broken expression and stood up from the chair. "I'm sorry that I care about you. I worry Eff. I can't help it. You just got out of the hospital a few days ago, I'm just trying to make sure your safe. I was so scared. I... I don't want to lose you." with that she walked upstairs.

I felt like a right git for what I'd said, but I couldn't back down now. I needed some space and this was the only way Anthea would let me be.

I heard my phone ping. It was a text from Katie.

**Did your mum have a heart attack? Are you alright? xx K**

I smiled. Katie always seemed to be there when I needed her most. Maybe not always physically, but this was just as comforting.

**She was pretty mad. I think I got her to back off a bit though. I'm fine. A bit knackered though. I'm going to sleep. xx E**

Seemingly seconds later I got her reply.

**Night babes. xx K**

I trudged upstairs to my room and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

**So you get these chapters just a couple days apart. Yay! Wasn't too excited about this chapter but I have big things planned next one so be prepared. I also realized I have a habit of ending the chapters with a character falling asleep or passing out. I tried not to this chapter but it ended up happening anyway. Eh oh well. I'm terrible with cliff hangers. Anyway I hope you guys liked it. I'd love to hear your feedback, so review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**I wasn't too happy with last chapter, but I figured I'd put it up and be done with it so I could focus on writing this one.**

**xx Jordanpie**

**DISCLAIMER: Own Nothing**

Chapter 5- Promises

Katie

It had been two weeks since the day at the pub. Effy and I saw each other every day after and grew closer with each passing day. Anthea stopped putting up a fight, and after Effy told me what she'd said I wasn't surprised. It was pretty harsh, but I don't blame her. Then, after the first week, Anthea was gone most of the day. I asked Effy about it and she said she had no clue why. That is until I got a call that afternoon to come over to their place.

Anthea made some tea and sat us both down. "I'm sure you two have noticed I've been gone quite a bit the last few days. Well, I've been hired to organize a conference two months from now, it's a pretty big job and I'll be gone all day most of the time, I may even consider moving out there since it's a two hour drive both ways. Katie I wanted you to be here because I have a favor to ask. I know Effy doesn't think she needs it, but it would make me feel a lot better about being gone so much if you promise to look after her. Promise me that if anything happens to her you'll give me your first-born child." She smiled at the last sentence.

My heart dropped. Giving her my first-born child would never be a problem. It wasn't possible. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to tear up. "I… I promise I won't let anything happen to your daughter."

Effy gave me a look that said "What just happened?" I shook my head. I would explain it later.

"Alright well, thank you Katie. You guys are free to go." Anthea said as she got up and went to clean up the dishes.

"Docks. Now." Effy stated, grabbing my hand and pulling me out to the car.

I let Effy drive, she hopped out as soon as we got there and sat in our usual spot. I sat in the car for a minute, not knowing how to tell her without becoming an emotional wreck. She turned and looked at me, as if trying to find some hint as to what was bothering me. I sighed and got out, walked over and sat down, still too afraid to say anything. Effy reached over and laced our fingers together, giving my hand a light squeeze. "It's okay Katie, just tell me."

I sat there for another few seconds trying to think of how to say it, until the emotions filled me up and I blurted out, "I can't have kids." Effy just looked at me with the same tender expression, like I hadn't said a word. "I found out a few years ago, I'd missed my period and was with a guy at the time, so you know I thought I might be... pregnant." I stumbled over the last word and could feel the tears begin to well up. "The doctor told me I wasn't pregnant, and that I never could be. Something called premature menopause." as soon as I said the words I couldn't stop the tears.

Effy didn't say a word, just moved closer to me and pulled me into a hug, holding me as I cried. The harder I cried the tighter she held. It was better than anything she could have said, letting me know that she was there for me, expressing everything words couldn't. I don't know how long we sat there like that, even after I'd stopped crying. I silently hoped it would never end.

Then Effy pulled away and stood up, grabbing my hand and pulling me up with her so that we stood face to face, just inches away from each other. She reached up and cupped my face with her hands, wiping the remaining tears away.

"You're beautiful Katie." a shiver ran through me. "Inside and out, if you think no one could love you simply because you can't have children your crazier than me." I giggled softly. "So is anyone who would feel any differently about you because of it."

I nodded and leaned into her, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing tightly. "Thank you babes, you're fucking amazing you know that?"

She smirked in her typical Effy way and simply said "I know."

We spent the rest of the day at the pub with the gang. Though Effy and Naomi were new to the gang, the rest of us had been friends since college, it was as if we'd all known each other for years. The first few times we'd all hung out at the pub I was worried about Effy. I told Cook and Freddie beforehand that Effy couldn't drink or take anything and not to try to offer anything or they'd be dealing with me. Still, I worried that the presence of it would be too much for her. I could tell that it bothered her, and she was trying to be strong, but every time I'd ask if she wanted to leave she'd quickly reassure me that she could handle it. After a while I stopped worrying.

Maybe I shouldn't have.

I could tell Freddie was into her. It was just a matter of time before he would act on it. That night he was completely munted. He'd done some shit with Cook and was high enough to try to come on to Effy. It wasn't surprising. What I hadn't expected was for her to go along with it. He whispered something to her and she got up and went toward the bathrooms with him. I went into shock, I couldn't fucking believe she would go with him like that. I mean it was Freddie, we'd talked about it before. She knew he fancied her and she'd told me that he was dangerous, the kind of guy she would fall for if she wasn't careful, the kind of guy she'd fallen for before. His name was Justin, she didn't tell me much, just that he was almost exactly like Freddie, a sweet, beautiful stoner boy. They fell in love, pushed their limits with drugs and alcohol, and Effy paid the price. Her demons broke through, and neither of them were strong enough to do anything about it. That was the first time she'd tried to commit suicide. She said he tried to be strong for her, but he couldn't handle it and left. Now she was walking straight into the same situation, and I was too annoyed and in my own feelings to be a good friend.

The next thing I knew Effy was running out of the pub, screaming "Don't take my soul! Don't take my soul!" Finally I snapped out of it and bolted out the door. I caught a glimpse of her turning down the next street. _Damn this girl is pretty fast,_ I thought. If I thought I was running for my life I would be too. I rounded the corner to find a mass of people marching in the street. I cursed Bristol and it's frequent street parades. What the fuck was everyone celebrating for? I pushed my way through the crowd and climbed onto a float, scanning the people for Effy. I couldn't see her on one side so I turned to the other, still nothing. As I turned back around I saw her running toward me, Cook, Naomi, and Emily right behind her. She looked scared shitless. That is until she ran and jumped onto the float, straight into my arms causing both of us to collapse. Her pupils were completely dilated in fear. She kept moving her head around frantically, her eyes moving twice as fast. I took her head in my hands and looked straight into her eyes, forcing her to look back into mine. After a while she calmed down, realizing it was me and not some demon trying to take her soul. Then she leaned into me, crying into my chest.

"Oh god Katie I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." I pulled her in closer and started rubbing her back.

"I know babes I know. It's my fault. I shouldn't have let you go with him. It's okay."

She lifted her face up to look at me. Her eyes staring into mine with an intensity that made everything else disappear. "You saved me again. I didn't know it was you, but everyone else was, well..."

"Trying to take your soul?" I asked and stifled a laugh.

She laughed softly "Well yeah. They started chasing me. I was about to give up, until I saw this bright white light. I knew that if I got to it I would be safe. It was you. You are the one thing that is strong enough to fight off the demons. Please don't leave me. Don't ever leave."

"I won't. I promise you Effy, I'm not going anywhere."

With that she passed out in my arms. Emily and Naomi helped me get her back to the pub. I had them look after her while I went after Freddie. I found him huddled in the corner of the pub with his head in his hands, shaking. "What the fuck were you thinking Freddie? What did you fucking give her?"

"I... I don't know. The stuff I got from Cook, the same stuff we both took. I wasn't thinking I'm so fucking sorry Katie I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't know she was going to freak out like that. She started screaming at me not to take her soul and just took off."

I was so angry I couldn't think straight. "Just stay the fuck away from her!" I shouted and stormed off.

When I got back to the table Cook and JJ were standing there. Cook had a guilty look on his face, and JJ looked like he was afraid that I was going to come after him too. Cook walked over to me and looked down as he said, "I'm sorry Katiekins. When I gave him the drugs I had no idea he was gonna try to do that. It's my fault."

I wanted to be mad at him, but I was mostly just mad at myself. I promised myself and Anthea that I wouldn't let anything happen to Effy and I'd fucked it all up on the first fucking day. "I don't blame you Cook." I said, and walked away. I couldn't stay in that place anymore. I asked Emily to help me get Effy into the car and I took her back to my place. I couldn't take her home like that. Anthea would have skinned me alive.

When we got back to the flat I laid her in the bed in the guest bedroom and went into the kitchen. I had a bloody terrible headache and needed some pain medication. I sat down on the couch and turned on the telly. I couldn't go to sleep yet, the events of the night still running through my mind. Yet at some point I must have passed out because next thing I knew Effy was screaming in the other room, like she was in pain. I ran into the room to find her writhing around in the bed. I shook her and called out her name until finally her eyes shot open. "Jesus Eff, are you okay?"

"S... Sorry. I don't have my sleeping pills on me."

"Come on babes, your sleeping with me tonight." I said and helped her up out of the bed.

I got her settled into my bed and quickly stripped off my jumper and pants. I normally slept in a bra and knickers. I turned out the lights and climbed into bed next to Effy. Thinking to myself that this was the first person I'd had in my bed in months. I said goodnight and turned over, trying to fall back to sleep, with no luck. Eventually I heard Effy's breathing even out. I turned back over and lifted myself up on one arm so that I could look at her. She was beautiful, anyone could see that. There was something infinitely more beautiful about her when she was sleeping. It was peaceful, soothing. Disturbing that beauty should be illegal. I hoped the nightmares that haunted her would stay away, if only for tonight. I laid back down, moving a little closer to her, and focused on the rhythm of her breathing. Letting it slowly lull me to sleep. A single thought popped into my head just before I slipped out of consciousness.

_I love this girl._

**And so another chapter is complete. I'm writing like a maniac. Alas, my tendency to end a chapter with the character falling asleep strikes again. I really need to stop that. Anyway, I wanted to get this chapter down and posted ASAP because, well I just didn't like the last chapter much. It was sort of a lead in to what was going to happen at the beginning of this chapter though. Regardless, what do you guys think? Favorite part? Least favorite part? Love it? Hate it? Any ideas for future chapters? Let me know.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Woo I've been really inspire to write lately. It's wonderfully fullilling. Anyway, just a short one, not necessarily a bad kind of short though. You'll see ;)**

**xx Jordanpie**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.**

Chapter 6- Into The Lion's Den

Effy-

"Move in with me."

Those four words kept replaying in my mind. Katie had said them the morning after i stayed at her place. After the night I fucked up so badly I didn't think Katie would ever forgive me. Yet the girl saved me, and took my worthless, unconscious self back to her place to stay the night. She was, and is the most amazing person i've ever known.

There I sat, in the kitchen of the flat she shared with her sister. My mind could barely even register the words that had just hit my ears. "Move in with me." Was it a dream? Some sick joke my mind was playing on me? Presenting me with my deepest desire, one I wasn't even aware I'd had, only to rip it away from me as the harsh light of day revealed the illusion. Yet as she kept talking I realized it was true. This was real.

"I know we haven't known each other for very long and you probably think I'm fucking mental for even suggesting it... But Effy I need to know you're safe. With your mum gone all the time I want to be able to keep you safe. I know you don't think you need it, but after... After last night. I want to protect you, and the best thing for that right now is if you're living here. At least until your mum comes back for good."

We sat in silence for a few moments while I processed the information I'd just received. She wants me to live with her. Katie and I, living in the same place, that could be dangerous, but it's Katie, but it's Katie... Shit! She's staring at me. Fuck Effy keep your fucking cool, yeah? For fucks sake, you want it, she wants you to, go for it.

"Okay." I said, trying to remain aloof though i could feel a blush creeping up my neck.

"Fucking fantastic babes. We'll go to your place in a bit and get all of your things. I'll call Anthea and let her know." she hopped up out of the chair and practically bounced over to me, placing a kiss on my forehead before she strutted out of the room.

The spot her lips had touched was on fire. A white hot fire that travelled down my body until it rested between my legs. Fuck me this is dangerous, i thought. I'd known I liked Katie from the first time I'd laid eyes on her, dancing in the club that night. It wasn't until the night before that I had truly realized I didn't just like her, I was in love with her. Now I was moving in, walking straight into the lion's den, baring my heart for her to rip out. It was completely fucking mental, but I couldn't resist. I just hoped I had enough self control not to completely fuck this up.

I'd barely had enough self control not to push Katie up against the wall and kiss her well hard the night before when i peaked over at her (okay I was perving) as she stripped off her outer layer of clothing leaving only a bra that showed the perfect amount of cleavage and knickers, skin tight against her perfectly shaped ass. Then, like a the moment in a dream when you wake up just a bit and realize it's just a dream, my mind chimed in with the utterly heart-breaking truth I was too scared to face. She's straight. She doesn't want you.

Even worse later when I felt Katie turn over, her eyes boring into me. I felt my heart speed up, but somehow managed to keep my breathing steady. Eventually I did fall asleep, and as I suspected, with Katie beside me I had no more nightmares that night.

My dreams were vivid and beautiful. Visions of a being with her, of not letting fear and what I thought to be common sense get in the way, getting up from that bed and kissing Katie passionately, moving to the bed, the kisses slowly becoming heated, longing for more, kissing down her body, teasing just above her knickers, slowly easing them off, when suddenly it was over. I woke up abruptly, to an even more heart breaking scene, Katie's arms loosely draped over me, one of her legs slid in between mine, a jumbled mess of limbs, her face was buried in the crook of my neck. I wanted it to be real, to be able to wake up this way every day of my life, to wake her up with soft kisses and say the words I love you. It was the ultimate torture, to wake up in the arms of the woman you're in love with and know you can never have her the way you want to.

Yet there I sat in her kitchen, just having agreed to live with her, to put myself in that position everyday. It was pure madness. I couldn't feel more alive though, more happy, more in love. I wondered how we'd gotten to this point in such a short time. From her being some fit girl in a club whom I'd groped, to the girl who smacked me and sent me reeling into the dark recesses of my mind, to the girl who stuck by my side in the hospital afterward, to a friend, to my savior, to the best friend i'd ever had and the woman I was in love with, all in a month's time.

Just then my thoughts were cut short by a figure walking back into the room, Katie. "Ready babes?" she asked and held out a hand for me to take. I took her hand and stood up, thinking to myself, I don't think I'll ever truly be ready when it comes to you Katie Fitch.


End file.
